"Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub."
"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."Erma Bombeck on Mark Twain
"Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young."Erma Bombeck on Henry Ford
"Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been."Erma Bombeck on Mark Twain
"True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country."Erma Bombeck on Kurt Vonnegut
"A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age."Erma Bombeck on Robert Frost
"Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you."
"A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday."
"Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago."
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."
"Never have more children than you have car windows."