"The girl with a future avoids a man with a past."
"The empires of the future are the empires of the mind."Evan Esar on Winston Churchill
"Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future."Evan Esar on Oscar Wilde
"Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life."Evan Esar on Steve Jobs
"I never think of the future - it comes soon enough."Evan Esar on Albert Einstein
"It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves."Evan Esar on William Shakespeare
"Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures."
"Definition of a Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits than under analysis some of them won't stand up either."
"America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week."
"Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it."
"Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment."