"Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football."
"A woman is like a tea bag - you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water."Fran Lebowitz on Eleanor Roosevelt
"I don't know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot."Fran Lebowitz on Marilyn Monroe
"Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent."Fran Lebowitz on Friedrich Nietzsche
"The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles."Fran Lebowitz on Ralph Waldo Emerson
"As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot."Fran Lebowitz on John Lennon
"Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass."
"Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure."
"There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior."
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet."
"I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult."