"I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap."
"I'll never stop dreaming that one day we can be a real family, together, all of us laughing and talking, loving and understanding, not looking at the past but only to the future."Fred Allen on LaToya Jackson
"If a country is to be corruption free and become a nation of beautiful minds, I strongly feel there are three key societal members who can make a difference. They are the father, the mother and the teacher."Fred Allen on Abdul Kalam
"Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten."Fred Allen on David Ogden Stiers
"The love of family and the admiration of friends is much more important than wealth and privilege."Fred Allen on Charles Kuralt
"Sister is probably the most competitive relationship within the family, but once the sisters are grown, it becomes the strongest relationship."Fred Allen on Margaret Mead
"We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion."
"An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission."
"My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense."
"Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure."
"Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs."