"The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion."
"This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple the philosophy is kindness."Fred Allen on Dalai Lama
"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."Fred Allen on Mahatma Gandhi
"I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else."Fred Allen on C. S. Lewis
"Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither."Fred Allen on C. S. Lewis
"I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is."Fred Allen on Albert Camus
"We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion."
"An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission."
"My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense."
"Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure."
"I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap."