"Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman it depends on how much happiness you can handle."
"Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open."George Burns on John Barrymore
"Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions."George Burns on Dalai Lama
"Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."George Burns on Abraham Lincoln
"I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition."George Burns on Martha Washington
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."George Burns on Mahatma Gandhi
"You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old."
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
"If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age."
"Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere."
"At my age flowers scare me."