"I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age."
"A woman is like a tea bag - you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water."George Burns on Eleanor Roosevelt
"I don't know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot."George Burns on Marilyn Monroe
"Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent."George Burns on Friedrich Nietzsche
"The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles."George Burns on Ralph Waldo Emerson
"As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot."George Burns on John Lennon
"You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old."
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
"If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age."
"Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere."
"At my age flowers scare me."