"By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth."
"A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation."George Carlin on Mark Twain
"Truthful words are not beautiful beautiful words are not truthful. Good words are not persuasive persuasive words are not good."George Carlin on Lao Tzu
"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place."George Carlin on George Bernard Shaw
"Electric communication will never be a substitute for the face of someone who with their soul encourages another person to be brave and true."George Carlin on Charles Dickens
"I'm a great believer that any tool that enhances communication has profound effects in terms of how people can learn from each other, and how they can achieve the kind of freedoms that they're interested in."George Carlin on Bill Gates
"If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little."
"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death."
"Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time."
"At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom."
"The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going."