"If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little."
"It is strange to be known so universally and yet to be so lonely."George Carlin on Albert Einstein
"Alone we can do so little together we can do so much."George Carlin on Helen Keller
"It's often just enough to be with someone. I don't need to touch them. Not even talk. A feeling passes between you both. You're not alone."George Carlin on Marilyn Monroe
"Associate with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation for it is better to be alone than in bad company."George Carlin on George Washington
"I restore myself when I'm alone."George Carlin on Marilyn Monroe
"By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth."
"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death."
"Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time."
"At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom."
"The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going."