"What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?"
"It is better to travel well than to arrive."George Carlin on Buddha
"Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry, but by demonstrating that all peoples cry, laugh, eat, worry, and die, it can introduce the idea that if we try and understand each other, we may even become friends."George Carlin on Maya Angelou
"One travels more usefully when alone, because he reflects more."George Carlin on Thomas Jefferson
"Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not."George Carlin on Ralph Waldo Emerson
"The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page."George Carlin on Saint Augustine
"If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little."
"By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth."
"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death."
"Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time."
"At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom."