"Whoever is my relative, I will not be nice to them."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."George Lopez on Lana Turner
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."George Lopez on Ron White
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."George Lopez on Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."George Lopez on Jim Carrey
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."George Lopez on Elbert Hubbard