"There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak they are manners, morals, and medicine."
"I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course."Gerald F. Lieberman on Groucho Marx
"A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running."Gerald F. Lieberman on Groucho Marx
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."Gerald F. Lieberman on Erma Bombeck
"They certainly give very strange names to diseases."Gerald F. Lieberman on Plato
"Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it."Gerald F. Lieberman on Erma Bombeck