"We're one of the forces that causes actors to fasten seat belts before they take off chasing the bad guy in the car... or removes some of the cigarette smoking on television."
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 MPG."Gerald McRaney on Bill Gates
"There was a time in my life when I thought I had everything - millions of dollars, mansions, cars, nice clothes, beautiful women, and every other materialistic thing you can imagine. Now I struggle for peace."Gerald McRaney on Richard Pryor
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."Gerald McRaney on Erma Bombeck
"I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone."Gerald McRaney on Steven Wright
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."Gerald McRaney on Steven Wright
"Again, like I said, we're not trying to censor anyone. If you think drugs are cool, fine. Make that movie. We are not going to stop you, or try to stop you, but we would encourage other people to be a bit more responsible about their portrayal of drug usage."