"I'm often dating people, but I don't say it because you sort of know it won't last long."
"Save a boyfriend for a rainy day - and another, in case it doesn't rain."Graham Norton on Mae West
"Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things."Graham Norton on Keanu Reeves
"I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that."Graham Norton on Mitch Hedberg
"You can't stop loving or wanting to love because when its right it's the best thing in the world. When you're in a relationship and its good, even if nothing else in your life is right, you feel like your whole world is complete."Graham Norton on Keith Sweat
"Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others."Graham Norton on Wayne Dyer
"It's amazing how I can just ramble on for hours, isn't it? And so unentertaining or uninteresting. But I can ramble on for hours. It's a sort of terrible gift, isn't it?"
"My parents grew up working class, but in that way that working class families do, they spent a fortune on education to better me."
"The people I want are very famous and very rich, and all I can offer them is a bit of exposure on TV and a bit of cash, so it's a miracle we get any guests at all. But we have been very lucky."
"Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do."
"All my day is spent dealing with other people. When I come home I like it to be empty. The presence of others in my house kind of annoys me. I love coming home and shutting the doors. I feel brain dead. I'm relatively available, but not to live with."