"Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest."
"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."H. L. Mencken on Mignon McLaughlin
"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."H. L. Mencken on Socrates
"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages."H. L. Mencken on Friedrich Nietzsche
"How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being."H. L. Mencken on Oscar Wilde
"Don't marry the person you think you can live with marry only the individual you think you can't live without."H. L. Mencken on James C. Dobson
"The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom."
"Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age."
"Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him."
"Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage."
"A national political campaign is better than the best circus ever heard of, with a mass baptism and a couple of hangings thrown in."