"Alfred Nobel was much concerned, as are we all, with the tangible benefits we hope for and expect from physiological and medical research, and the Faculty of the Caroline Institute has ever been alert to recognize practical benefits."
"I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course."Haldan Keffer Hartline on Groucho Marx
"A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running."Haldan Keffer Hartline on Groucho Marx
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."Haldan Keffer Hartline on Erma Bombeck
"They certainly give very strange names to diseases."Haldan Keffer Hartline on Plato
"Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it."Haldan Keffer Hartline on Erma Bombeck