"A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student."
"I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind yet, strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers."Henny Youngman on Khalil Gibran
"It is the supreme art of the teacher to awaken joy in creative expression and knowledge."Henny Youngman on Albert Einstein
"If I am walking with two other men, each of them will serve as my teacher. I will pick out the good points of the one and imitate them, and the bad points of the other and correct them in myself."Henny Youngman on Confucius
"You have to grow from the inside out. None can teach you, none can make you spiritual. There is no other teacher but your own soul."Henny Youngman on Swami Vivekananda
"I have come to believe that a great teacher is a great artist and that there are as few as there are any other great artists. Teaching might even be the greatest of the arts since the medium is the human mind and spirit."Henny Youngman on John Steinbeck
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
"I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me."
"My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash."
"I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car."
"My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad but New York City?"