"All the libel lawyers will tell you there's no libel any more, that everyone's given up."
"I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five."Ian Hislop on Steven Wright
"Collecting more taxes than is absolutely necessary is legalized robbery."Ian Hislop on Calvin Coolidge
"A successful lawsuit is the one worn by a policeman."Ian Hislop on Robert Frost
"Make crime pay. Become a lawyer."Ian Hislop on Will Rogers
"Justice in the life and conduct of the State is possible only as first it resides in the hearts and souls of the citizens."Ian Hislop on Plato
"I like making films about old people because they are repositories of amazing stories that they tell well. And they're incredibly good telly."
"I'd always assumed that I would die at about the same age as my dad - he was 45. I am five years in credit now. I can't get my head around the fact that I am older than he was - ever."
"My mother was a terrific force in my life. Wartime-generation woman, hadn't gone to university but should have done. Was very funny, very verbal, very clever, very witty."