"My mother was a terrific force in my life. Wartime-generation woman, hadn't gone to university but should have done. Was very funny, very verbal, very clever, very witty."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."Ian Hislop on Lana Turner
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."Ian Hislop on Ron White
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."Ian Hislop on Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."Ian Hislop on Jim Carrey
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."Ian Hislop on Elbert Hubbard
"I like making films about old people because they are repositories of amazing stories that they tell well. And they're incredibly good telly."
"I'd always assumed that I would die at about the same age as my dad - he was 45. I am five years in credit now. I can't get my head around the fact that I am older than he was - ever."
"All the libel lawyers will tell you there's no libel any more, that everyone's given up."