"Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air."
"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."Jack Benny on Michael Jordan
"It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling."Jack Benny on Mark Twain
"Golf is a good walk spoiled."Jack Benny on Mark Twain
"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."Jack Benny on Hunter S. Thompson
"Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after."Jack Benny on Henry David Thoreau
"Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."
"I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either."
"Gags die, humor doesn't."