"If you can find the line between sympathetic and creepy, you have reached a very funny area."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."Jason Segel on Lana Turner
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."Jason Segel on Ron White
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."Jason Segel on Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."Jason Segel on Jim Carrey
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."Jason Segel on Elbert Hubbard