"I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home I noticed one of the fingers was missing so I went back to the store and the manager was nice enough to give me the finger."
"Any woman who understands the problems of running a home will be nearer to understanding the problems of running a country."Jay London on Margaret Thatcher
"A house is not a home unless it contains food and fire for the mind as well as the body."Jay London on Benjamin Franklin
"Where we love is home - home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts."Jay London on Oliver Wendell Holmes
"Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home."Jay London on Bill Cosby
"Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in."Jay London on Robert Frost
"I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out."
"My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality."
"My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings."
"I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights."
"It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes."