"When I was eight years old, I got a dummy for Christmas and started teaching myself. I got books and records and sat in front of the bathroom mirror, practising. I did my first show in the third grade and just kept going there was no reason to quit."
"Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas."Jeff Dunham on Calvin Coolidge
"He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree."Jeff Dunham on Roy L. Smith
"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."Jeff Dunham on George Carlin
"Maybe Christmas, the Grinch thought, doesn't come from a store."Jeff Dunham on Dr. Seuss
"A good conscience is a continual Christmas."Jeff Dunham on Benjamin Franklin
"But the mechanics of learning to 'throw your voice' are pretty simple. Anyone with a tongue, an upper palate, teeth, and a normal speaking voice can learn ventriloquism."