"If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'"
"I'll never stop dreaming that one day we can be a real family, together, all of us laughing and talking, loving and understanding, not looking at the past but only to the future."Jeff Foxworthy on LaToya Jackson
"If a country is to be corruption free and become a nation of beautiful minds, I strongly feel there are three key societal members who can make a difference. They are the father, the mother and the teacher."Jeff Foxworthy on Abdul Kalam
"Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten."Jeff Foxworthy on David Ogden Stiers
"The love of family and the admiration of friends is much more important than wealth and privilege."Jeff Foxworthy on Charles Kuralt
"Sister is probably the most competitive relationship within the family, but once the sisters are grown, it becomes the strongest relationship."Jeff Foxworthy on Margaret Mead
"My grandma's the most careful, safe driver in the world. You put her in a rental car, and she's doing doughnuts in the K-Mart parking lot!"
"If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck."
"My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this."
"I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did."
"You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education."