"I don't do marriage. I think it's incredibly naff. And I don't like vulgar displays of ostentation."
"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."Jenny Eclair on Mignon McLaughlin
"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."Jenny Eclair on Socrates
"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages."Jenny Eclair on Friedrich Nietzsche
"How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being."Jenny Eclair on Oscar Wilde
"Don't marry the person you think you can live with marry only the individual you think you can't live without."Jenny Eclair on James C. Dobson
"After graduating from flares and platforms in the early 1970s, I started drama school wearing a pair of khaki dungarees with one of my Dad's Army shirts, accessorised by a cat's basket doubling as a handbag. Very Lady Gaga."
"I've just got crap hair. Although I inherited a lot of stuff from my dad, including giant knees, I didn't get his good, thick hair. I got my mother's thin, wispy, non-event hair instead."
"I think I might actually die of showing off. It'll be on my headstone - 'Cause of Death: Showing Off.'"
"I'm very jealous of my daughter's education. She's been inspired by her teachers, and nobody inspired me as a teenager."
"I have a fear of poverty in old age. I have this vision of myself living in a skip and eating cat food. It's because I'm freelance, and I've never had a proper job. I don't have a pension, and my savings are dwindling. I always thought someone would just come along and look after me."