"If you're an old pro, you know how well you're doing when you're doing it, and your inner government spanks you if you're not doing well."
"A wise and frugal Government, which shall restrain men from injuring one another, which shall leave them otherwise free to regulate their own pursuits of industry and improvement, and shall not take from the mouth of labor the bread it has earned. This is the sum of good government, and this is necessary to close the circlue of our felicities."Jerry Lewis on Thomas Jefferson
"The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter."Jerry Lewis on Winston Churchill
"I hope we shall crush in its birth the aristocracy of our monied corporations which dare already to challenge our government to a trial by strength, and bid defiance to the laws of our country."Jerry Lewis on Thomas Jefferson
"Government is not reason it is not eloquent it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master."Jerry Lewis on George Washington
"Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil in its worst state, an intolerable one."Jerry Lewis on Thomas Paine
"I never got a formal education. So my intellect is my common sense. I don't have anything else going for me. And my common sense opens the door to instinct."
"People hate me because I am a multifaceted, talented, wealthy, internationally famous genius."
"I have a loyalty that runs in my bloodstream, when I lock into someone or something, you can't get me away from it because I commit that thoroughly. That's in friendship, that's a deal, that's a commitment. Don't give me paper - I can get the same lawyer who drew it up to break it. But if you shake my hand, that's for life."
"Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands."
"I turned down 'Some Like It Hot.' See how smart I am? I felt I couldn't bring anything funny to it. The outfit was funny. I don't need to compete with the wardrobe."