"It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper."
"Sometimes I think my husband is so amazing that I don't know why he's with me. I don't know whether I'm good enough. But if I make him happy, then I'm everything I want to be."Jerry Seinfeld on Angelina Jolie
"If you tell people where to go, but not how to get there, you'll be amazed at the results."Jerry Seinfeld on George S. Patton
"It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit."Jerry Seinfeld on Harry S. Truman
"If you set goals and go after them with all the determination you can muster, your gifts will take you places that will amaze you."Jerry Seinfeld on Les Brown
"Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."Jerry Seinfeld on Conan O'Brien
"Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a good reason. And then you try and work it from there."
"You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'"
"When I jumped off a roof in Cannes in a bee costume, I looked ridiculous. But this is my business I have to humiliate myself."
"The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing."
"I love being a dad. I just love it."