"The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing."
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 MPG."Jerry Seinfeld on Bill Gates
"There was a time in my life when I thought I had everything - millions of dollars, mansions, cars, nice clothes, beautiful women, and every other materialistic thing you can imagine. Now I struggle for peace."Jerry Seinfeld on Richard Pryor
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."Jerry Seinfeld on Erma Bombeck
"I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone."Jerry Seinfeld on Steven Wright
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."Jerry Seinfeld on Steven Wright
"It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper."
"Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a good reason. And then you try and work it from there."
"You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'"
"When I jumped off a roof in Cannes in a bee costume, I looked ridiculous. But this is my business I have to humiliate myself."
"I love being a dad. I just love it."