"When I jumped off a roof in Cannes in a bee costume, I looked ridiculous. But this is my business I have to humiliate myself."
"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."Jerry Seinfeld on Mark Twain
"The hardest thing to understand in the world is the income tax."Jerry Seinfeld on Albert Einstein
"There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure."Jerry Seinfeld on Colin Powell
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all."Jerry Seinfeld on Dale Carnegie
"If there is anything that a man can do well, I say let him do it. Give him a chance."Jerry Seinfeld on Abraham Lincoln
"It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper."
"Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a good reason. And then you try and work it from there."
"You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'"
"The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing."
"I love being a dad. I just love it."