"Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end."
"Sir, my concern is not whether God is on our side my greatest concern is to be on God's side, for God is always right."Jerry Seinfeld on Abraham Lincoln
"We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature - trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence... We need silence to be able to touch souls."Jerry Seinfeld on Mother Teresa
"When the solution is simple, God is answering."Jerry Seinfeld on Albert Einstein
"While I know myself as a creation of God, I am also obligated to realize and remember that everyone else and everything else are also God's creation."Jerry Seinfeld on Maya Angelou
"Never trust anyone completely but God. Love people, but put your full trust only in God."Jerry Seinfeld on Lawrence Welk
"It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper."
"Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a good reason. And then you try and work it from there."
"You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'"
"When I jumped off a roof in Cannes in a bee costume, I looked ridiculous. But this is my business I have to humiliate myself."
"The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing."