"Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you."
"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond."Joan Rivers on Mae West
"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."Joan Rivers on Jim Davis
"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."Joan Rivers on Orson Welles
"No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated with any other means."Joan Rivers on Maimonides
"Adopting a new healthier lifestyle can involve changing diet to include more fresh fruit and vegetables as well as increasing levels of exercise."Joan Rivers on Linford Christie
"The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found."
"My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on."
"I think I'm in a business where you have to look good, and it's totally youth-oriented."
"The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it."
"Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds."