"I think I'm in a business where you have to look good, and it's totally youth-oriented."
"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."Joan Rivers on Mark Twain
"The hardest thing to understand in the world is the income tax."Joan Rivers on Albert Einstein
"There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure."Joan Rivers on Colin Powell
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all."Joan Rivers on Dale Carnegie
"If there is anything that a man can do well, I say let him do it. Give him a chance."Joan Rivers on Abraham Lincoln
"The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found."
"My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on."
"Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you."
"The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it."
"Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds."