"People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made."
"Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open."Joan Rivers on John Barrymore
"Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions."Joan Rivers on Dalai Lama
"Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."Joan Rivers on Abraham Lincoln
"I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition."Joan Rivers on Martha Washington
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."Joan Rivers on Mahatma Gandhi
"The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found."
"My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on."
"I think I'm in a business where you have to look good, and it's totally youth-oriented."
"Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you."
"The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it."