"I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster."
"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond."Joe E. Lewis on Mae West
"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."Joe E. Lewis on Jim Davis
"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."Joe E. Lewis on Orson Welles
"No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated with any other means."Joe E. Lewis on Maimonides
"Adopting a new healthier lifestyle can involve changing diet to include more fresh fruit and vegetables as well as increasing levels of exercise."Joe E. Lewis on Linford Christie
"I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink."
"The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love."
"I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play."
"You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough."