"I never in my wildest imagination dreamed that I would somehow become a sports commentator."
"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."Joe Rogan on Michael Jordan
"It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling."Joe Rogan on Mark Twain
"Golf is a good walk spoiled."Joe Rogan on Mark Twain
"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."Joe Rogan on Hunter S. Thompson
"Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after."Joe Rogan on Henry David Thoreau
"The only time I commit to conspiracy theories is when something way retarded happens. Like Lee Harvey Oswald acting alone."
"If you can lie, you can act, and if you can lie to crazy girlfriends, you can act under pressure."
"I had a sense of who I was before I got famous."
"I really feel like it's a travesty to make a child famous. I really do."
"That's my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard."