"Never stay in a bad marriage, and don't hang around with psycho coke fiends."
"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."Joe Rogan on Mignon McLaughlin
"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."Joe Rogan on Socrates
"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages."Joe Rogan on Friedrich Nietzsche
"How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being."Joe Rogan on Oscar Wilde
"Don't marry the person you think you can live with marry only the individual you think you can't live without."Joe Rogan on James C. Dobson
"The only time I commit to conspiracy theories is when something way retarded happens. Like Lee Harvey Oswald acting alone."
"If you can lie, you can act, and if you can lie to crazy girlfriends, you can act under pressure."
"I had a sense of who I was before I got famous."
"I really feel like it's a travesty to make a child famous. I really do."
"That's my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard."