"The only time I commit to conspiracy theories is when something way retarded happens. Like Lee Harvey Oswald acting alone."
"It is strange to be known so universally and yet to be so lonely."Joe Rogan on Albert Einstein
"Alone we can do so little together we can do so much."Joe Rogan on Helen Keller
"It's often just enough to be with someone. I don't need to touch them. Not even talk. A feeling passes between you both. You're not alone."Joe Rogan on Marilyn Monroe
"Associate with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation for it is better to be alone than in bad company."Joe Rogan on George Washington
"I restore myself when I'm alone."Joe Rogan on Marilyn Monroe
"If you can lie, you can act, and if you can lie to crazy girlfriends, you can act under pressure."
"I had a sense of who I was before I got famous."
"I really feel like it's a travesty to make a child famous. I really do."
"That's my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard."
"It's painful for me to watch someone who isn't funny. It's horrifying to sit in the back and watch some guy who just totally sucks."