"In prison, inmates sometimes use Cheetos and grape juice as makeup. I wouldn't use that beauty regimen around Britney Spears - she might lick your face off!"
"Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it."Joel McHale on Confucius
"To love beauty is to see light."Joel McHale on Victor Hugo
"Beauty is only skin deep. If you go after someone just because she's beautiful but don't have anything to talk about, it's going to get boring fast. You want to look beyond the surface and see if you can have fun or if you have anything in common with this person."Joel McHale on Amanda Peet
"A woman whose smile is open and whose expression is glad has a kind of beauty no matter what she wears."Joel McHale on Anne Roiphe
"People are like stained - glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within."Joel McHale on Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
"If you have a dream, just lie about it. Lie your way unto your dreams."
"My goal and my career is definitely not to be famous. That's a really horrible goal, just to be famous for the sake of having fame."