"Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."Joey Adams on Lana Turner
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."Joey Adams on Ron White
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."Joey Adams on Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."Joey Adams on Jim Carrey
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."Joey Adams on Elbert Hubbard
"If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business."
"If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all."
"A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing."
"Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway."
"Rockefeller once explained the secret of success. 'Get up early, work late - and strike oil.'"