"Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway."
"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."Joey Adams on Mignon McLaughlin
"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."Joey Adams on Socrates
"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages."Joey Adams on Friedrich Nietzsche
"How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being."Joey Adams on Oscar Wilde
"Don't marry the person you think you can live with marry only the individual you think you can't live without."Joey Adams on James C. Dobson
"If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business."
"If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all."
"Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you."
"A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing."
"Rockefeller once explained the secret of success. 'Get up early, work late - and strike oil.'"