"I was always a sports nut but I've lost interest now in whether one bunch of mercenaries in north London is going to beat another bunch of mercenaries from west London."
"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."John Cleese on Michael Jordan
"It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling."John Cleese on Mark Twain
"Golf is a good walk spoiled."John Cleese on Mark Twain
"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."John Cleese on Hunter S. Thompson
"Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after."John Cleese on Henry David Thoreau
"He who laughs most, learns best."
"I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me."
"My compulsion to always be working has become less strong and my current business is purely down to this enormous alimony. If I wasn't doing this I'd be making documentaries about wildlife and other subjects that interest me."
"You don't have to be the Dalai Lama to tell people that life's about change."
"I just think that sometimes we hang onto people or relationships long after they've ceased to be of any use to either of you. I'm always meeting new people, and my list of friends seems to change quite a bit."