"I don't understand how somebody wouldn't have a sense of humor about themselves."
"A joke is a very serious thing."John Malkovich on Winston Churchill
"Humor is mankind's greatest blessing."John Malkovich on Mark Twain
"Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing."John Malkovich on William James
"If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide."John Malkovich on Mahatma Gandhi
"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road."John Malkovich on Henry Ward Beecher
"A dog that has rabies probably will do things it wouldn't do if it didn't have rabies. But that doesn't change the fact that it has rabies."
"I'm more comfortable with whatever's wrong with me than my father was whenever he felt he failed or didn't measure up to the standard he set."
"You can be a mason and build 50 buildings, but it doesn't mean you can design one."
"I like design, I like details, to me it is just another form of self-expression."
"Well, I design costumes because I started with the theater in Chicago, but somehow a few lines just sort of fell to me to do it. And I studied it in school and I always liked it."