"I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward."
"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond."John Mortimer on Mae West
"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."John Mortimer on Jim Davis
"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."John Mortimer on Orson Welles
"No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated with any other means."John Mortimer on Maimonides
"Adopting a new healthier lifestyle can involve changing diet to include more fresh fruit and vegetables as well as increasing levels of exercise."John Mortimer on Linford Christie
"There is always time for failure."