"Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill."
"Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open."Johnny Carson on John Barrymore
"Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions."Johnny Carson on Dalai Lama
"Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."Johnny Carson on Abraham Lincoln
"I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition."Johnny Carson on Martha Washington
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."Johnny Carson on Mahatma Gandhi
"Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?'"
"My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day."
"For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off."
"For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off."
"I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself."