"Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas."
"Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas."Johnny Carson on Calvin Coolidge
"He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree."Johnny Carson on Roy L. Smith
"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."Johnny Carson on George Carlin
"Maybe Christmas, the Grinch thought, doesn't come from a store."Johnny Carson on Dr. Seuss
"A good conscience is a continual Christmas."Johnny Carson on Benjamin Franklin
"Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?'"
"My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day."
"For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off."
"For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off."
"I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself."