"I've got too much respect for stand-ups to call myself one."
"An individual who breaks a law that conscience tells him is unjust, and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for the law."Johnny Vegas on Martin Luther King, Jr.
"Everyone should be respected as an individual, but no one idolized."Johnny Vegas on Albert Einstein
"Let every man be respected as an individual and no man idolized."Johnny Vegas on Albert Einstein
"Be peaceful, be courteous, obey the law, respect everyone but if someone puts his hand on you, send him to the cemetery."Johnny Vegas on Malcolm X
"If once you forfeit the confidence of your fellow-citizens, you can never regain their respect and esteem."Johnny Vegas on Abraham Lincoln
"I used to be good with kids, but as I get older, I'm grumpy and terrible with them. As for doing a gig at a 6-year old's birthday party, you couldn't pay me enough."
"I trained to be a priest - started to. I went to seminary school when I was 11. I wanted to be a priest, but when they told me I could never have sex, not even on my birthday, I changed my mind."
"You always hear people saying, 'I hope I'm not turning into my dad', but I'd be honoured if I became half as decent a bloke as he is."
"I came back from university thinking I knew all about politics and racism, not knowing my dad had been one of the youngest-serving Labour councillors in the town and had refused to work in South Africa years ago because of the situation there. And he's never mentioned it - you just find out. That's a real man to me. A sleeping lion."
"My work's never been accepted by my family, but it's something I'll always carry on with."