"I don't practice, but I am still officially in paediatrics. I keep in touch with journals, and I have a very good data bank of medical information and there is a key thing for a writer knowing where to go. I know where to go to get the information that I need."
"I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course."Jonathan Kellerman on Groucho Marx
"A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running."Jonathan Kellerman on Groucho Marx
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."Jonathan Kellerman on Erma Bombeck
"They certainly give very strange names to diseases."Jonathan Kellerman on Plato
"Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it."Jonathan Kellerman on Erma Bombeck