"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself."
"No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens."Josh Billings on Abraham Lincoln
"I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."Josh Billings on Winston Churchill
"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."Josh Billings on Robert A. Heinlein
"Time spent with cats is never wasted."Josh Billings on Sigmund Freud
"I wish I could write as mysterious as a cat."Josh Billings on Edgar Allan Poe
"I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry."
"The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust."
"The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way."
"One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs."
"The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't gout."