"I have no agenda except to be funny. Neither I or the writers profess to offer any worldly wisdom."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."Julia Louis-Dreyfus on Lana Turner
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."Julia Louis-Dreyfus on Ron White
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."Julia Louis-Dreyfus on Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."Julia Louis-Dreyfus on Jim Carrey
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."Julia Louis-Dreyfus on Elbert Hubbard
"Some people can sometimes really invade your space and kind of never leave you alone."
"Before computers, telephone lines and television connect us, we all share the same air, the same oceans, the same mountains and rivers. We are all equally responsible for protecting them."
"If you feel rooted in your home and family, if you're active in your community, there's nothing more empowering. The best way to make a difference in the world is to start by making a difference in your own life."
"The war and terrorism in the Middle East, the crisis of leadership in many of the oil-supply countries in the developing world, the crisis of global warming - all these are very clearly tied to energy."
"The Seinfeld motto: No learning, no hugging."