"My dad didn't drive - the only dad I knew who didn't."
"It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father."Julie Burchill on Pope John XXIII
"When one has not had a good father, one must create one."Julie Burchill on Friedrich Nietzsche
"My father? I never knew him. Never even seen a picture of him."Julie Burchill on Eminem
"I am not ashamed to say that no man I ever met was my father's equal, and I never loved any other man as much."Julie Burchill on Hedy Lamarr
"Whoever does not have a good father should procure one."Julie Burchill on Friedrich Nietzsche
"I am firmly of the opinion that women who make a lot of effort to hang onto their looks in middle age (unless they are beauties, entertainers or prostitutes) are rather sad, as one should surely have something more substantial to recommend one by this time, such as kindness or cleverness."
"As a precocious teen I dreamed of being Graham Greene. Well, as it turned out, I never wrote a great novel, sadly, and I never converted to Catholicism, happily, but I did do one thing he did. That is, in middle age I moved to a seaside town and got into a right barney with the local powers-that-be."
"As a child, I wanted only two things - to be left alone to read my library books, and to get away from my provincial hometown and go to London to be a writer. And I always knew that when I got there, I wanted to make loads of money."
"Surely being a Professional Beauty - let alone an ageing one - is one of the most insecure and doomed careers imaginable."
"My second husband believed I had such a fickle attitude to friendship that each Friday he would update the list of my 'Top Ten' friends in the manner of a Top Of The Pops chart countdown."